Some time in college, I remember having a somewhat thoughtful conversation with a friend of mine. It was many years ago, and I don’t recall who the discussion was with, but we spent the time exploring an issue that many may wish to consider while formulating a reply to the difficult question: what type of ice cream do you want?

Given the assumption that you have already decided to eat ice cream, not particularly known for its compatibility with maintaining a slim figure, it may seem a bit frivolous to discuss the caloric differences between various flavors. Nonetheless, this was the topic of conversation on this evening during my years of higher education. In particular, the question was whether one could reduce calories by sticking to vanilla instead of the clearly tastier Oreo cookie (or analogous cookies “n” cream variety).

Try to come to your own conclusion. Got it? Okay, read on.

My friend argued that the Oreo cookie flavor would clearly be more caloric since it adds a calorie-rich cookie to the ice cream, whereas the standard fare just has the ice cream. The equation was simple. Cookie + ice cream > ice cream. Q.E.D. Not so fast, I countered. Consider that ice cream is served by the scoop. Given that the volume is likely to be constrained, the cookie would actually be displacing some of the ice cream. So the correct formula would be x = (cookie) – (volume of ice cream equivalent to volume of cookie). If the cookie is less caloric than the same volume of ice cream (which is, after all, made in part from cream), then x will be negative and thus the Oreo flavor would be a virtual diet ice cream (or Ice Cream Zero, following today’s nomenclature).

This weekend was a bit slow, so I began to ponder how to settle this once and for all: figuring out the volume of an Oreo cookie should be pretty easy, and it’s nutritional information should be available online. Once I had the volume, I could look up the equivalent stats on the ice cream and have my answer. As I considered this, I did what I do best: think of an even better strategy to find out answers to questions of dubious importance.

Recalling that Brighams was a local favorite purveyor of the sweet stuff, I went to their web site and found what I was looking for. Turns out that, 4 fluid ounces of vanilla has 190 calories, while the equivalent volume of the Oreo flavor has 200 calories. I guess I’ll have to concede this argument, but at least I can take comfort in knowing that I’ve used this blog to share an important fact with my readers.

Take heed, fatties…stick to vanilla.