“Snap.”

There really aren’t that many situations where “snap” is a good sound. Come to think of it, I can’t think of any. It’s certainly not something you want to hear coming from your lower back while you are standing in the gym in a semi-seated position with a loaded barbell on your back.

If you talk to people who are serious about weightlifting, most will enthusiastically extoll the many virtues of the squat. But those people were nowhere to be found yesterday morning while I crouched awkwardly trying to calm my fears of imminent paralysis.

Everything seemed surprisingly intact. At first. I slowly rose up and returned the weight to its resting place before confirming that my legs could still move. Having just (nearly) recovered from a wrist injury acquired nearly six months earlier, I recognized that plowing onward would probably not be a good idea. But, I mean, I couldn’t just stop my workout. The squat was my first exercise, after all. As I made my way around the gym and completed most of my routine, I found my back slowly tightening, pulling me into a clumsy position with my chest hyperextended. I tried my best to avoid looking like a peacock. I thought I was having moderate success at achieving a normal gate, but several passerbys shot me sympathetic glances on my way to the office.

“Why would you ever do squats?” asked Bill, back at the office. “The only people who do squats are bodybuilders. And you’re not trying to be a bodybuilder.”

I gave him my “whatchu talkin’ about Willis?” look, but he didn’t seem to notice, and instead continued to rail against the squat. I was still mulling the question over why Bill would assume I wasn’t close to fulfilling my bodybuilding dreams when he tossed over a couple tablets of ibuprofen. I muttered my thanks and shuffled back to my desk. “Not trying to be a bodybuilder…I’ll show him!” I thought, straightening up with pride…when a sharp pull in my lumbar region reminded me that I needed to find some water to swallow these tablets.

Well it’s one day later and I’m much better, really. I can almost get out of bed in less than a minute if I don’t make any sudden movements. I can feel myself getting stronger already.

Watch out, Bill.